Five Mirrors
A close friend took time to observe, not to judge, but to reflect back what he saw. Written by hand, without AI, then passed to digital. A gift of honest perception.
What follows are not conclusions. They are questions. Entry points into patterns I don’t always see while I’m inside them.
1. The Weight of Commitment
When situations demand firm commitment, I tend to overthink and pause, or exit altogether.
Questions worth sitting with:
What exactly do I believe will happen if I follow through? What am I protecting by stepping back?
2. Benchmarking to the Top
When I encounter something new, my reflex is to find the best, the standard-bearer, and orient toward that.
Questions worth sitting with:
What if “best for them” isn’t “best for me”? What does the journey feel like while I’m in transit toward that ideal? Could gradual adoption and adaptation serve me better than immediate optimization?
3. All or Nothing
I gravitate toward extremes. The middle often feels insufficient, imperfect.
Questions worth sitting with:
What would I gain by allowing the middle ground to be enough? Is “imperfect” actually incomplete, or just uncomfortable?
4. Silence ≠ Inaction
I confuse the absence of visible progress with the absence of progress itself. When I can’t track movement, I get restless: opening new windows, drafting backup plans.
Questions worth sitting with:
What’s the worst that has actually happened when I waited? When was the last time I allowed myself to simply be without doing? Can I trust processes that don’t report back?
5. The Rescuer Instinct
I often step into the role of solver before being asked. My systems-thinking kicks in and I offer input, sometimes before the other person needs it.
Questions worth sitting with:
What happens if I wait for the request instead of anticipating it? Can I separate my value from the solutions I provide? Is my presence enough without my contribution?
A Note on These
These are not accusations. They are mirrors held up with care, an invitation to metacognition.
The friend who wrote them closed with this: “Espero que te permitan ver un poco más allá de cómo haces las cosas. En parte con metacognición, en parte con observación y curiosidad.”
Many stones form a path. Some of those stones are the patterns we repeat without noticing. Naming them is the first step to walking differently.